*SPOILERS AHEAD*

If I were a martial arts filmmaker, I think
I’d be Raimund Huber. I don’t know much about the guy, but having seen the
three films he’s directed, I think we share many values when it comes to
action. (We also have a tendency to film stuff that sounds a lot better in our
heads than it looks onscreen.) Foremost among his traits that I admire are his
willingness to try to create stars and the fact that none of his films
feature a lot of well-known performers. This probably doesn’t help his movies
at the video store, but it delights me to see new, overlooked, and
almost-forgotten performers take prominent roles in his productions. The cast
of Kill ‘Em All is predominantly a
collection of folks who have shown promise in a few movies and now gather to put on one heck of a show. It’s not as good of a movie as it could be
and definitely isn’t a film for all occasions, but I’m happy that it exists.

The story commences in Thailand, where four assassins are plying their trade. Little do they know that they’re about to become the hunted
parties. A suicidal bomber (Johnny Messner) loses consciousness after taking a
sip of drugged tea. A boxer (Ice Chongko) is ambushed by a kidnapper posing as
a monk in a Buddhist temple. A martial artist (Tim Man) is taken by a
mysterious bodybuilder (Roongtawan Jindasing) after she kills his
girlfriend (Fer Thaniya). And a favorer of knives and guns (Ammara Siripong) is
drugged in her apartment by a giant (Eoin O’Brien). These killers – Gabriel,
Black Scorpion, The Kid, and Som – awaken alongside four other professional
assassins in a locked room, where they are addressed by a mysterious entity over
a speaker.

Does anybody notice the similarities to Saw
yet?

The male voice introduces the assassins to each other, describing their
backgrounds and informing them of their location. They’re in
the Killing Chamber – a place of urban legend, “where hitmen are taken to die.”
They’re told that only one of them will leave, and only after all others have
been killed in combat. One particularly aggressive assassin, Schmidt (Erik
Markus Schuetz), displays excitement at the idea and immediately picks a fight
with The Kid. Schmidt persists in brawling despite the voice’s command to stop,
and the group is rendered unconscious by gas pouring out of an
overhead pipe. When they reawaken, they find Schmidt sitting bloodied against a
wall; his throat has been cut. The voice issues the remaining assassins with an
ultimatum: obey all orders or suffer the same fate.

The tone of the movie has now been set. Whereas Huber’s previous film – Bangkok Adrenaline – was a comedic
adventure, Kill ‘Em All is going to
be a pessimistic thriller. We know next to nothing about the characters, but what we do know isn’t heartening. Those of us who have seen a lot of movies realize
that these characters probably won’t live long. Not unlike the
aforementioned Saw series, this is a film
where characters come to be disposed of. Luckily for the squeamish among us, this
is much more of an escapist vehicle than what I’m comparing it to, and to a
substantial degree, the story will bring out the best in a few of these
unlikely heroes.

Seven numbered balls are rolled into the Chamber, and after everyone picks one
up, the voice commands those with the lowest numbers to do battle. The two
combatants are Som and a young fellow called Mickey (Rashid Phoenix). Mickey is
strongly hinted at having some kind of developmental disability, but repeat viewings make
me wonder whether this guy is for real. The voice merely describes him as not
knowing right from wrong, and while our knee-jerk reaction is to assume that
Mickey has Down syndrome or something similar, it seems more likely that he’s a
psychopath who’s adopted a specific mind game against his opponents. At any rate, he doesn’t
match the symptomology of any particular conditions I can think of. Whatever the
case, Mickey puts up a strong fight against Som, but she eventually
gains the upper hand and kills him with a strike to the heart. Her prize is
to enter the nicely-stocked “Weapon Chamber” and select a single weapon with
which to engage in future fights. She chooses a pair of three-foot pipes.

The assassins are then given a meal, during which The Kid accepts a conversation
from the eldest of the fighters, Carpenter (Joe Lewis). Even though they talk
about potentially killing each other, Carpenter comes across as fatherly, and
we see that a degree of camaraderie is possible between the characters.
Meanwhile, Gabriel approaches Som and suggests they team up. Som refuses, but
the importance of teamwork will be a theme throughout the film.

The next two combatants are chosen by the numbers on the backs of their lunch
boxes; it’s Gabriel and Loomis Cartier (Brahim Achabbakhe), a former Legionnaire
who betrayed his comrades. Gabriel’s street-fighting style wins out over
Cartier’s kickboxing, and in victory, he claims a short sword. The voice then bids
them all to sleep and ceases monitoring them for the night. The assassins call
a truce, but Black Scorpion has different plans. Breaking the truce,
he rises in the night and targets Carpenter, who he’d been kindling a feud with. Black Scorpion stabs
Carpenter’s sleeping bag with a piece of glass he discovered by the toilet, only to find that the old man anticipated him and
was hiding in the shadows. They fight, and Joe Lewis – a real-life karate
grandmaster – is utterly believable in staging a defensive match against an
armed opponent. When Carpenter is injured, Gabriel evens the odds by throwing
him his weapon, and Carpenter impales Black Scorpion with the
blade. As Carpenter honorably returns the weapon, Gabriel makes clear the
unlikelihood of any of them being allowed to leave the Chamber alive. He makes
a bid for the remaining assassins to help each other, but again, nobody
accepts.

In the morning, the voice admonishes them for Black Scorpion’s death. He demands
the next match, for which the combatants are selected by the numbers on the
bottom of their sleeping bags. The Kid and Carpenter are matched against each
other, and it’s worth noting that unlike the last two times, the voice waits
until the numbers are announced before declaring who will fight – giving the
impression that he’s specifically punishing Carpenter. As the brawl commences,
it’s clear that the injured Carpenter is no match for his nimbler opponent, but
before The Kid is forced to finish him off, Som takes action. She attacks
Gabriel, and when he resists, she demands he keep fighting her despite the
voice’s objections. The gas is activated but, amazingly, doesn’t enter the
room. Why? While everyone was sleeping, Som used the ball she received for the
first challenge to plug the pipe. With no more means of controlling the assassins,
the door is unlocked and jumpsuit-clad thugs flood into the room to kill the
remaining fighters. The warriors strike back, killing the ninjas, but Carpenter
is fatally wounded in the process of saving The Kid. “Now we’re even” are his
final words, referring to The Kid’s decision to not kill him when he was down.

TRIVIA: Joe Lewis died of a brain tumor
approximately four months before the film’s release, at age 68. Lewis was a
pioneer of competitive martial arts in the U.S., being credited by his peers as
an originator of full-contact karate and having fought in the country’s first
official kickboxing match. He won five world and national championships in kickboxing,
another seven in karate, and is recognized by the STAR System Records service
as an undisputed world champion.

The owner of the mysterious voice – identified in the credits as Snakehead
(Gordon Liu) – watches as the three survivors wander through a maze-like complex called the “Psycho Sector.” He unleashes a seemingly endless gang of armed warriors, and despite being able to cut
through them, the assassins do not encounter an exit. In a moment of peace, The
Kid and Som enlighten Gabriel as to what is going on: they’re prisoners of
the Sharan Cabal – an organization that kills hitmen. Before they can
elaborate, an opportunity for escape presents itself, and to Gabriel’s chagrin,
his cohorts opt to remain behind. It’s clear that The Kid wants to avenge his
girlfriend (and, potentially, Carpenter), but Som’s motivation is a mystery. A
frustrated Gabriel makes a break for it, but even though he reaches the
roof, he chooses to return – just in time to save Som and The Kid. However,
Gabriel is fatally wounded in the process.

Gabriel is an interesting character who represents the theme of
vulnerability in dangerous people. He’s depressed and suicidal, but this very
thing that Snakehead considers his weakness ends up being what gives the
assassins a chance for survival. In the Killing Chamber, Snakehead taunts
Gabriel about his suicide attempts and suggests they’re inspired by loneliness,
and as it happens, Gabriel spends most of his time trying to forge bonds
between the assassins. As the film goes on, this ceases being a mere tactic and
seems like something he intimately desires. He’s the most talkative character in
the movie, sometimes speaking just to keep his nerve up but otherwise trying to
coax conversation out of others. He’s a nice guy by the film’s standards,
giving The Kid a new nickname and referring to himself and the other survivors
as a team. He actively seeks their approval. Upon actually attaining his
freedom, he reenters the chamber because he has no desire for a life void of companionship. I really think his goal is to be pals with Som and The
Kid once they’re all out. Gabriel’s experiences provide gravity to a story so
preoccupied with killing that it’s easy to think there’s nothing else to it. Take note that the most long-lived assassins are those who eschew the solitary nature of their profession and embrace teamwork.

The Kid and Som press deeper into the complex, meeting and
defeating the bodybuilder and the giant who kidnapped them. These are fairly
brutal intergender fights, and as they conclude with The Kid beating his
girlfriend’s killer to a bloody pulp and Som smashing the giant’s head with
cinder blocks, I think that the filmmakers were trying to
create a gender-blind field of combat. It’s not entirely successful – earlier, Schmidt
indicates that he intends to rape Som – but while I can do without the extreme
violence, I appreciate the notion. The general dearth of B-movie actresses
known for their action scenes is doubtlessly influenced by filmmakers’
unwillingness to feature women in these roles, and I’m happy whenever that’s subverted. I’m not for the senseless beating of women in movies, but I do
consider gender an arbitrary reason to keep an able performer from shining in
fight flicks. Ammara Siripong and Roongtawan Jindasing definitely shine in this
one.

Som finally meets Snakehead – whose voice has seemingly been vocoded before now
– and drops an exposition bomb. She is here seeking revenge for her brother, a
fellow assassin who previously was the only one to escape the Killing Chamber.
She’d purposely strove to become one of the best killers, thereby attracting the
Cabal’s attention so she could be taken and have the opportunity for vengeance.
In turn, Snakehead reveals his masterplan: through the Killing Chamber, he seeks
to create a monopoly of assassins, controlled by his organization. They
commence fighting, with Snakehead mockingly wielding a tie worn by Som’s
brother. The Kid arrives to join the fight, and together, Som and he are slowly
able to wrest Snakehead out of his reserve and overpower him. Eventually, Snakehead
is killed by a double submission maneuver; with him dead, the Cabal will
presumably dissolve. Som reclaims the tie, shares a glance with The Kid,
and they move to leave the room. Abruptly, the film cuts to the end credits.

I have to admit, the poorest aspect of Kill
‘Em All is its story. The first half of the movie primes the viewer to
expect a significant conclusion – an enlightening “ohhh” moment to explain everything – but the eventual revelation probably isn’t any more impressive
onscreen than as I wrote it. Perhaps the filmmakers realized how impersonal of
a climax they had and for that reason shoehorned in the bit
about Som’s brother, which received no buildup at all. For all his grandiose
planning and penetrating insight, Snakehead is
nothing more than a greedy sadist. Also, I’m not sure how I feel about the
ending: I’m glad that Snakehead was stopped, but not only have Som and The Kid failed to forge a significant connection, but the world now has two more
deadly assassins back on the streets. Perhaps with her mission complete, Som
will stop trying to be the best killer she can be, and maybe The Kid will take
some time off to mourn, but neither character’s received much inclination to
quit their job.

The real triumph of the film is in its utilization of its cast. In many ways,
Raimund Huber really did a lot with this group. Ammara Siripong went from playing
a disabled mother in Chocolate four
years prior to an all-out action hero here. Gordon Liu’s unique voice –
pitched or not – makes him an excellent choice as a character that spends most
of the time off-screen. Johnny Messner perfectly conveys the intricacies of
his character and does well as the protagonists’ spokesperson. Most impressive,
though, is how well these performers are utilized in fight scenes.
Choreographer Tim Man deserves particular recognition for his work, as he
crafts very specific fighting styles based on the strengths of his costars.
This may have been easy enough for those with backgrounds in stunts and action,
but particularly Johnny Messner benefits from some resourceful blocking. Joe
Lewis was presumably recovering from brain surgery at the time of filming, but
looks mighty as ever. There are 14 full-length fight scenes in this movie, and
while not all of them are great, most are pretty good and I think none of them feature any doubling.

Kill ‘Em All isn’t the type of movie
you watch for intellectual stimulation or to feel particularly happy, but it is
one you watch to get adrenalized. Its purpose is to excite, and it triumphs.
It’s the type of movie that its stars will use to point to as proof of their
physical abilities, and I would be happy to see all of them cast again in
fighting roles. I recommend this one to all martial arts fans.

Kill ‘Em All (2013)
Directed by Raimund Huber
Written by Ken Miller
Starring Ammara Siripong, Tim Man (Ninja II: Shadow of a Tear), Johnny
Messner (Tears of the Sun), Gordon
Liu (The 36^th Chamber of
Shaolin)
Cool costars: Joe Lewis (Death Cage), Brahim Achabbakhe (Man of Tai Chi), Eoin O’Brien (Tekken: Kazuya’s Revenge), Roongtawan
Jindasing (Raging Phoenix), Erik
Markus Schuetz (Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior),
Ice Chongko. Rashid Phoenix hasn’t had any other standout film roles, but he’s
a successful stuntman who’s won an ensemble award for his work on Game of Thrones.
Title refers to: A phrase uttered by Snakehead.
Potential triggers: Kidnapping, drugging, extreme violence, violence towards women
Copyright Epic Pictures Group, Inc.